i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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