I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
