so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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