i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
