the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
