So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
