So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
