you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize