He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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