the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
