oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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