Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
