What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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