we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
