He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
