there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
