I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Found your dick twin last night
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
