I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I didn't notice because vodka
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
