She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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