I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
organizing the empties. That sober.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
