winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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