I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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