i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
