Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
