her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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