Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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