D3 body, D1 cock
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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