i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
