i was born a porn star she said
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
