he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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