Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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