after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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