i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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