I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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