Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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