you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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