do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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