There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
