I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize