I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
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So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
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