theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
