I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
