grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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