I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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