Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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