This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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