Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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