if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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