I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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