the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
