Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
