Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
