i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
