I wannas sexs uuuuu
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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