Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
