maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
