Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
