youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
