i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize