Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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