dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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