I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He told me they were just razor bumps!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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