Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
