Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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