Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
